The Christmas season is often described as a time of joy, togetherness and celebration. Streets sparkle with lights, families gather, and traditions take centre stage. Yet for many who are grieving, this time of year can magnify feelings of loss, loneliness, and sadness. When someone special is missing, the festivities can feel hollow, and the contrast between the world’s cheer and one’s inner sorrow can be painfully sharp.
At Leverton & Sons, we understand how difficult this season can be after a bereavement. While we are not grief counsellors, we want to offer some gentle, practical advice to help you and your loved ones navigate the emotional challenges of Christmas – and remind you that support is always available.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s okay to not feel “merry and bright”. Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and there is no right or wrong way to feel during the Christmas period. You may experience waves of sadness, anger, guilt, or even moments of joy - and that’s normal.
Try to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up. You don’t need to suppress your grief to protect others or meet seasonal expectations. Simply acknowledging your emotions can be a powerful step towards healing.
If you find it hard to express how you’re feeling, consider journaling, creating a memory box, or lighting a candle each evening in remembrance. Gentle rituals like these can provide a safe outlet for emotion and reflection.
Adjust Traditions to Fit Your Needs
Christmas traditions can bring comfort - but they can also be painful reminders of what’s changed. It’s okay to adapt or even let go of certain customs this year. You might:
- Change where or how you celebrate, perhaps choosing a quieter day or a new setting
- Include your loved one in the celebrations in a small way, such as setting aside a place at the table or hanging a special ornament in their memory.
- Simplify your plans if the usual pace feels overwhelming - it's perfectly acceptable to scale things back.
What matters most is doing what feels right for you and your family. Some people find solace in continuing traditions; others prefer to create new ones that reflect their current circumstances. Listen to your heart and let compassion for yourself guide your choices.
Reach Out - You Don’t Have to Go Through It Alone
Grief can feel isolating, especially when it seems like everyone else is celebrating. Connecting with others who understand can make a real difference. Talk to family or friends who are supportive and willing to listen without judgement.
If you’d prefer to speak to someone outside your immediate circle, professional and voluntary support is available.
- SAIF Care (Independent Funeral Directors) understand the range of feelings you may be experiencing when grieving and are here to help if you need. Call their Bereavement Care Line on 0800 917 7224 for friendly, supportive helpline staff available to offer information and advice. Alternatively, you can email help@saifcare.org.uk. There is also face-to-face counselling available. Please speak to us if you want to learn more about this.
- The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, offering a listening ear to anyone struggling to cope. You can call 116 123 for free or visit www.samaritans.org for more resources.
- Cruse Bereavement Support also provides a national helpline, online chat and local groups for people experiencing loss. You can contact them at 0808 808 1677 or visit www.cruse.org.uk
Even a short conversation with someone who understands can help lighten the burden.
Set boundaries and pace yourself
The festive season often comes with invitations, events, and expectations. It’s completely okay to decline or modify these if you’re not ready. Let friends and family know how you feel in advance - most people will understand if you need to take things slowly.
If you do attend gatherings, consider planning an “exit strategy”. Let a close friend know you might need to leave early or drive yourself so you can slip away if things feel too much.
Remember that healing doesn’t mean forgetting, it means learning to live alongside your grief - at your own pace.
Take care of your wellbeing
Grief can be exhausting, both emotionally and physically. During this time, it helps to look after yourself with small, manageable acts of self-care.
- Rest: Allow yourself time to slow down and recharge, even if sleep is difficult.
- Eat and hydrate: Nourish your body with regular meals, even if they are simple ones.
- Get outside: Fresh air and gentle movement, like a short walk, can ease tension and lift your mood.
- Find quiet moments: Step away from the noise of the season to reflect, breathe, or pray if that feels meaningful to you.
Sometimes the smallest comforts – a warm drink, a favourite film, a conversation with someone you trust- can offer the greatest relief.
Honour their memory
Christmas can also be an opportunity to celebrate the person you’ve lost in a way that feels meaningful. You might:
- Donate to a charity they cared about
- Cook their favourite meal or play their favourite music
- Share memories and stories with family members, especially younger generations who may not have known them well
These acts of remembrance can turn grief into connection, helping keep your loved one’s presence alive within your heart and family traditions.
When grief feels overwhelming
There may be moments when the sadness feels unmanageable. If that happens, please reach out - whether to a trusted friend, a GP, or one of the support services listed above. You do not have to cope on your own.
If you ever feel in crisis or unable to keep yourself safe, contact the Samaritans on 116 123, or in an emergency dial 999. Help is always available, day or night.
You are not alone
Grieving through the Christmas period is uniquely difficult, but you are not alone on this journey. Many people find that, over time, moments of peace and even joy begin to return - often when they least expect it.
At Leverton & Sons, we hope you will be gentle with yourself this festive season, take comfort in small acts of remembrance, and reach out for help whenever you need it.
If you would like information about what support is available, please do not hesitate to contact our team. We are here to listen and to help in any way we can.
