Traditional Funerals ...

Funeral Etiquette

British funeral traditions are inherited from the Victorian era. At that time, strict codes of conduct were understood by all levels of society.

Now that we have cross-cultural funerals and a variety of belief systems, people feel able to create individually tailored ceremonies. For that reason, it is important that attendees are clearly guided in where to go, what to do, and how to pay their respects in a meaningful and appropriate way. Your funeral director, their staff, family members and a minister can all help to guide mourners on the day.

As a mourner at a funeral based on a culture or religion that is unfamiliar to you, ask friends or go online to research that particular tradition. It’s not necessary to conform to dress codes, eg. Hindu men wear white to a funeral, if you are European, you should only wear Hindu dress if specifically requested. But it’s always helpful to know in advance what is likely to occur so that you can engage with the ceremony and its meanings on the day.

Debrett's provide a comprehensive guide to contemporary British funeral etiquette, with advice on everything from dress codes to Orders of Service and how to be helpful to the bereaved.

An expert in etiquette, Emily Post wrote the following guide to funerals and mourning in 1922. We have included this piece for historical interest. Although her writing is addressed to wealthy Americans in the 1920s, it includes many British dos and don’ts as remembered by the eldest members of the Leverton family today. Click here to view the PDF.

Debrett’s also has section on death in which they advise that children should not be excluded from the events surrounding death. We have lots of experience in helping children to cope with a funeral, so if you have any qualms about this, feel free to discuss it with your funeral director.
See helplines for children.